Happy Fun Stuff

While I'm not the barrel of laughs I was was, I do try to look for things to be happy about. Fake it 'til you make it? I guess some people to gratitude journals and affirmations. I used to roll my eyes at that kind of thing, but it's GOT to be better than focusing on everything that is "wrong".

Even though I'm a week as a kitten, the stress diet has made it possible to fit into my old cool clothes. Well some of them. Still need to hide the underarm dingle dangle, but I'm not ROUND anymore. I'm not up to the makeup thing yet, but yesterday I actually put on a necklace. Sounds stupid, but I run around in sweats and maybe some jeans most of the time. I got a compliment on the jewelry FROM A STRAIGHT MAN. hee!

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats. All healthy! They all love each other and make me laugh every day.

I have the absolute best husband in the world. He has put up with so much of my trauma and has been nothing but kind and supportive even though he wasn't "getting any" for a long time.

Premarin cream. See above. It just hurt and I was avoiding all touch except for massage. I used to "leak" a bit (remember PIMP? hahahah) and that's almost GONE. So things are improving (slowly) in the romantic area. I hope this isn't TMI, but I had no idea this would be such a great thing or I would have started a long time ago.

Since being medically terminated, I no longer am in a hostile environment. I had hoped to get a different position there that I could do part time, but they yanked the ADA stuff on me. I had enough systems to fight, that I won't even bother going after them on that one. I now have a great support system of professionals and friends (not many are local and I don't drive far) my internet buddies (that I have met most of), my MIL and FIL and even my brother whom I used to avoid at all costs.

Happy books, tv and movies. I've removed most of the violent crime shows from my DVR. NOT dexter! NOT True Blood, I love dark comedies. I glean from the headlines all I need to know (or NOT) what's going on in the world and avoid the stories of tragedy and anything that will make me cry. I have to get the crying under control. Sometimes I WILL watch a tear jerker just to get the poisons out. I'm usually good until someone asks me how I am. Tears are always hovering in the background. Then I follow up with manic laughter. I'm just fun that way. I guess you would call it craffing! The only thing really keeping me sane is that I can still laugh and joke about things. I have a twisted personality in general!

I'm also focusing on things that I like. It's an exercise I do when driving sometimes because I get the heebies. I start looking for pretty colors, nice cars, houses, birds. It's a great tool for getting out the garbage in your head. Right now I'm adoring my spider plant and ignoring the pile of papers I have to deal with on my desk.

Oh, and music. I stopped listening to MUSIC. I need to put that on my list of things to bring back. Beestie Boys anyone?